We writers have a talent for not writing just as much as writing. Over the years I have discovered some of the secrets to this ancient art of procrastination. Here are a few.
- Cleaning: You sit down at your desk for 5, 10, 15 minutes, staring at a blank page. Then you realize your room needs cleaning. And your kitchen. And your living room. And the roof of your house. You don’t know how to tell if the roof of your house needs cleaning or the last time you thought about the roof of your house, which surely means it needs cleaning by now.
- “Research”: I must know how to spell the word “orangutan”, don’t I? And I simply must know what type of trees grow in Oregon for the story to believable, right? And well, now that I’m already on the internet, I must check out Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Google, Google’s ugly brother Bing, Youtube, and more. We writers must network, don’t we? Social media is the new rubbing elbows at a cocktail party. We are just doing our job!
- Entertainment: Movies, TV, theater, oh my! After a long day’s work, it’s hard to not want to take a break for an hour or five.
- Social Time: We are lonely, lonely souls, and when we have the chance to hang out with our friends and family, we must take it, right? Right? I mean, we are only becoming more familiar with the real world so we can write about it. At some point. That’s not now. In the future. Like way out there. But someday! Maybe…
- Storytelling: I’m not sure if my story is worth writing about so I’m going to tell it to my best friend, mother, dog, cat, grocery-store cashier, counselor, priest, and random wildlife. Surely then, I will have the energy and confidence to write the thing I could have written by now…
Now that you know all the ways to not write, hopefully we can all move forward with our actual writing! Well, you know, after you like, comment, and share this post, of course!